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Home POLITICS Donald Trump Jr. Succeeds His Father as Biggest Asshole on Twitter

Donald Trump Jr. Succeeds His Father as Biggest Asshole on Twitter

On January 6, 2021, social media executives at Facebook and Twitter made a decision that changed millions of people’s lives for the better. We speak, of course, of their moves to kick Donald Trump off of their platforms after he incited a violent riot in the hopes of overturning the 2020 election. That’s obviously made it more difficult for Trump to whip his base into a frenzy and cause another attack, but the bans also mean never again having to log into one’s social media accounts terrified to see whatever insane lies and baseless conspiracy theories the 45th president of the United States recently spewed online.

Unfortunately, the bans by Twitter and Facebook did not extend to Trump’s family, and so the world is still forced to endure the deranged rantings of his namesake, Donald Trump Jr., who recently took to Twitter to attack teachers.

Against the backdrop of no fewer than half a dozen guns, the ex-president’s eldest son, who apparently believes himself to be something of a public intellectual, asked his followers: “Guys, what ever happened to ‘follow the science’? ‘Follow the science, that’s what we’re gonna do.’ It seems the Biden administration only follows the science when it actually suits them.” Having ticked off the “malign Joe Biden box,” Don Jr. got down to the real business at hand, telling the camera: “One of things I want to talk about that I’ve been reading a lot about lately is sort of the stuff as it relates to the teachers’ union. You’ve seen what they’ve done over the last couple months, the way they’ve basically held up progress, prevented schools from opening. The teachers’ union and those representing them have definitely failed our children in terms of education and everything else. The teachers’ union has certainly failed the science they’re supposed to be teaching us, ’cause, again, it’s all political.”

Bashing teachers for being worried about a virus that’s killed more than 500,000 people in the U.S., Junior foamed: “Guys, what’s going on? It’s as though they’ll do whatever they can to avoid going back. We saw this back in the day when they held up similar sort of progress to get our kids back to schools.” Then he claimed, like only a man famous for being an idiot could, that teachers have said they don’t like online learning because it’s “not really convenient,” which of course is not at all what teachers have said. Also pissing off Donny, a noted professional fuck-up who probably would’ve been fired years ago were it not for the fact that his boss is his dad? The fact that teachers have the audacity to continue to expect a paycheck for the work they’re doing. “That’s ridiculous,” he said, again, with at least six guns behind him. Explaining the research that went into his rant, Donny told his audience: “I was literally just scrolling through, you know, social, seeing some of the demands just now. And I had to do this sort of impromptu from the man cave because it’s getting ridiculous. These guys in the teachers’ union have so much power over Washington. That’s not to say there’s not good teachers out there that want to do well, but the unions representing the vast majority of these people don’t have the students’ interests at heart…. We’ve gotta crack down on this nonsense if we ever want our kids’ educational system to actually function decently. It’s not like we’re dominating. It’s not like we do well relative to the rest of the world. I think we’re 28 or 29 out of, you know, all of the countries. I mean, think about that.”

Weirdly, what many people took away from Don Jr.’s video was not that he desperately cares about educating the youth of America, but that he spouted off his opinions with numerous firearms in view. Randi Weingarten, president of the American Federation of Teachers, said the video “feels like a threat,” adding: “In the era of school shootings, it’s in really bad taste for Don Jr. to attack teachers on front of a wall full of guns. It’s gross. It feels like a threat in this climate. And right on the heels of the Parkland anniversary.” David Weissman, an Army veteran and former Trump supporter, asked: “Why are conservatives silent about this terrorist when they would be outraged if this same video would have been done by a Muslim.” While lawyer Seth Abramson wondered: “Anyone else feel like each time we see a new video from Donald Trump Jr. he’s descended one sub-basement deeper into a subterranean cavern stocked to the ceiling on each floor with whatever it is that makes him sweaty, puffy, bloodshot-eyed, and prone to affecting a strange drawl?”

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